WTF Collective

Zoals jullie misschien wel weten ben ik een rap liefhebber.
De Canadees Jon Lajoie heeft weer eens een briljant stukje gemaakt. WTF Collective. Een stel rappers bij elkaar in de mix, MC Confusing, MC Public Urination, MC Insecure, MC Amnesia, MC Fatigue, MC Shit My Pants Frequently en nog wat anderen zingen een rap die echt lekker flowed. De tempowisselingen zijn erg goed gedaan en de tekst is om te gillen. Het stukje van MC Fatigue en de 'fly ass' ho's van MC Shit My Pants Frequently zijn mijn favoriet.


Helaas kon ik geen lyrics vinden van dit nummer, ook niet op de website van Jon Lajoie. Omdat ik deze rap zo goed vind heb ik de song tekst zelf maar even gemaakt. Nou ja, even... Het voordeel is wel dat ik de tekst nu bijna uit mijn hoofd ken. Alleen MC Leathal Weapon 4 had een paar woorden die ik absoluut niet kon verstaan, dus daar zullen jullie even bij moeten brabbelen :-). Read and enjoy:

WTF Collective

Other rappers are comprehensible, not me
First on the mike, Mc Confusing
I took a piss on my nutsack and called it Jack Black
It’s a fact I got my rhymes attack prepped to get a nap
I attack motherfuckers wearing purple backpacks and I stack,
That’s how I relax take a shit on me tread
Yeah, you wack
'Cos everybody understands what you say
But when I get on the mike, I make milk outta clay
And I play air guitar with a tube ‘o toothpaste and I sing karate pencil case and put it on tape

Yo, I’m Mc Insecure what’s up
I really don’t think that I’m good enough
To be rhymin’ on this track 'cos my lyrics suck
All my verses fall flat like a hockey puck
It took me seven months to write the first part of my verse
And now I got nothing left so I pretend that I got hurt
Auuuw, Oh, I think I sprained my ankle
You guys go ahead and finish this song without me

Yo Mc Amnesia, up in this bitch
Woke up five days ago lying in a ditch
Didn’t know who I was, I couldn’t remember shit
Apparently something happened that was traumatic
I used to have all rhymes but I can’t remember them
Seriously, I’m freakin’ out I can’t remember anything
What’s my motherfucking name
Seriously, does anyone know what my name is?

Yo I’m Mc Public Urination, whoa, whoa
I take a fucking piss on the fucking sidewalk
Anytime, anyplace, I just whip out my cock
And empty my blather while you motherfuckers watch
You other Mc’s can’t handle this shit
You just a little bitch afraid to pee in public
You run into a toilet every time you have to piss
Yo fuck that shit I just whip out my dick

Yo Mc Fatigue yeah that’s me
Evertime I grab the mike I fucking fall asleep
….

I’m the guy who sings the chorus
Yeah it breaks up the song
My part is kind of boring
I wish that I could go home
But they’re paying me to sing the chorus
And I really need the cash
Cos I’m unemployed at the moment
Just moved back in with my dad

Yo I’m Mc Doesn’t Know What Irony Is
Walked up to a girl and I gave her a kiss
She said let’s go to your place I’ll suck your dick
I said hell yeah bitch that’s so ironic

Yo I’m Mc Gets Side-Tracked Easily
My rhymes are bad ass like Gandolfini
You know he’s known from the Sopranos but he’s also in movies
Like Get Shorty and Terminal Velocity
Which I didn’t really like 'cos I don’t like Charlie Sheen
Well I guess in Hot Shots he was kind of funny
But I prefer Leslie Nielsen in the Naked Gun
You know who else was in that movie? OJ Simpson
Which is kinda weird knowing what he did after that
Wait, what was I saying, I think I got sidetracked

Yo I’m Mc Lethal Weapon 1, 2 & 3
I really liked those movies but the fourth disappointed me
Danny Glover, Mel Gibson and Joe Pesci
Why did they have to make a fourth they had a perfect trilogy

Mc Lethal Weapon 4 that’s me
I disagree with Mc Lethal Weapon 1, 2 & 3
Although I ____ is a ground breaking trilogy
The fourth was also good with Chris Rock and Jet Lee

Yo, I’m Mc Shit My Pants Frequently
It usually happens when I’m walking down the street
Or when I’m hanging out with some fly ass ho’s, there we go
Thank God I brought a change of clothes

Yo I’m the Mc with the final verse
I’m supposed to sum up everything ya heard
But muthafuckers I don’t really have the time
So fuck that and cut back to the chorus guy

I’m still singing in the chorus
Thank God we’re almost done
I hate singing in the chorus
Such a boring fucking job
I’m gonna take my fourty bucks
That’s what they’re paying me
And I’m gonna go get really drunk
Masturbate and go to sleep